tricia the fighter

all in line..one by one

2012-02-13T21:27:00.003+08:00

i've put in 2 loans from the company's library..which i reckon will take a while to reach me. in the mean time i'm almost half way through 'catch me if you can'. this will be the next.

subsequent to that, i've given myself a challenge to read up all the books on reits i can find in the company's library. personal challenge for myself and also to prep myself before i decide if i should do the cmfas exam on reits management. this should keep me busy for a while!

catch me a better next read

2012-02-12T12:53:00.003+08:00

done with the wind up bird chronicle. took another 3 wks to complete this as well. the Japanese writers i have been reading have a peculiar way of story telling. i get lost sometimes, like when i was watching the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. it makes one go, " huh? what?...wow, that's a good one."

i'm onto a simpler book, catch me if you can. i read that the book was not written by Frank Abagnale Jr himself and this book contains a tad bit of exaggeration which serves its entertainment purpose.

i haven't got many other books i want to read. been looking for the e version of 1q84 but found none. at the same time i think i've got enough of the strange prose form for a while..thought i could move on to something more mainstream.

something about the cultural revolution might make an interesting read next. let's see what i can find.

run for something

2012-02-05T13:18:00.002+08:00

bel, yenling and i discussed about the possibility of doing the taroko gorge marathon in taiwan, coming nov.

it's good to have something to train towards. hope we can get things to fall into place. i haven't ran a marathon in 2 years! it'll be challenging to start training for one.

running with the gals make me feel sorry how my speed and endurance has degraded over time. i can't seem to catch up with them these days, often left behind. i try to take it in stride, follow my own pace and run my own race. but i'm hoping i won't be the slowest among us in the coming marathon! (which i think i'll most probably be)

i've decided to give up my part time job. i can definitely use more time given a more hectic full time job now. lesser income so that will mean i've got to be more cautious in my spending. may not all be a bad thing.

kafka to bird chronicle

2012-01-12T13:02:00.002+08:00

completed kafka on the shore today. took me 3 weeks to read cover to cover. and i'm listening to the beethoven archduke trio mentioned in the book.

plot of kafka on the shore is weird; unique if this is a better word to describe it. the story line is like a clockwork which gradually makes its full turn. you can't predict what will happen next. bits of the story gel together by a peculiar glue. definitely not your typical fiction read. conclusively, i like the read. i like haruki murakami's writing enough to line another of his earlier book in my next read.

huff puff

2012-01-05T13:38:00.002+08:00

stepping into office each day is like stepping on a non-stop treadmill. you just run endlessly till into the night.

my mind is at a point blank at this moment. there are so many things to be done. it can be overwhelming.

there goes another exec. she tendered when we came back from the long new year weekend.

i wonder why i am able to survive? is it because i have stopped thinking what all these is leading me to?

there's little to look forward for now. promotion is a near impossible. chances of a meaty pay raise might be vanquished with the slowing economy. so what else can there be but tasks that are left to be completed?

time for myself becomes shorter as hours at work stretch longer.

i hate to lament.

a new project is starting. i have these mixed feelings. on one hand it is an opportunity to do something different. on the other, it means even longer hours. fast forward to end of it, question is asked if it adds value to my career. shrug.

alright, back onto the treadmill now. huff huff puff puff.

学不会

2011-12-27T13:13:00.002+08:00

while watching 娱乐百分百, found out JJ will soon be releasing his new album 'Lost & Found'.

Been listening to 学不会over youtube on repeat.

nice.

xmas eve

2011-12-24T21:39:00.002+08:00

it is christmas eve. merry christmas to all.

spent the morning cleaning the house. went to work. met mummy to shop. had dinner. walked to cq to help do some despatch for a colleague. and took a long walk from cq to outram park mrt, lugging 2 bottles of shampoo and conditioner in a shopping bag with laptop on my shoulders.

now i sit in front of my laptop drafting a letter for my mum to be sent to mom.

pretty uneventful day. but i did enjoy shopping with mummy. she bagged many dresses that can probably last her for half a year! =) i ranted to her about work and stuff, while both of us chomped down a big bao (which apparently wasn't that big) each. i like times like these because i get my mummy's full attention. life's so busy we don't really get to talk alot most of the time.

i'm glad the day is over. i want to plonk into sleep quick while awaiting for tomorrow to come. i am thankful for yenling, who is willing to spend the christmas weekend with me. if the weather holds up, we'll be running at mr, go for a good bfast before checking into citadines at 2pm. after that we plan to roam town.. let's hope we get to go for the morning run on monday to marina barrage too.

it's back to work on tues. back to the heaps of reports to clear.

kafka on the shore

2011-12-21T13:15:00.002+08:00

done with the bloomberg mag and i'm back to my fictions.

next up, kafka on the shore by haruki marakami.

is it time to set resolutions for the new year already. i can't remember if i made any at the start of this year. i probably wished i could do well in this job and rise through the ranks. seems more unattainable now, just want to hang on and survive through the stipulated term.

my brain feels tired. i need to hold through this prolonged ot-ing nights for another 2.5wks.. i can't wait for the long weekend. the stack of work will welcome me back next tues.

back to finance

2011-12-16T22:22:00.003+08:00

done with never let me go. it's a good book in its own sense.

now back to some decent finance reading. on with bloomberg markets nov'11 edition, courtesy of dearie from his school's library.

after that, it'll be kafka on the shore. =)

holiday tomorrow. it's been a very long week. tired. dying for a break. and really want to catch up with abit of running too.

yay..shopping too! =)

is it dawn yet?

2011-12-10T22:36:00.003+08:00

i'm so done with the twilight series. concluding note: draggy. i got so bored with the whole storyline by eclipse, hoping for something better in breaking dawn. i was sorely disappointed. i have no idea how the story went on and on with the most uninteresting details..and such a bo liao fanfare of the volturi and the cullen gang. i'm just glad the series is done and it definitely stirred no interest in me to pay and watch the movie for now.

alright. so the next book on the list was actually this: never let me go but the pdf version i have in my kindle isn't in that a readable form. the font seems a little too stretched and i am not able to find another copy of it. sigh.

perhaps it'll be kafka on the shore first, till i find another copy of never let me go.

Update: Found a readable version! yay! so it's never let me go FIRST!

finding the lost

2011-12-03T14:53:00.004+08:00

i thought about the old things i used to write and posted on diary-x. those were the time i was more literally inclined. i wrote better prose and sometimes in riddles. i remember writing short stories which i thought were pretty nice.

diary-x on wikipedia

"Diary-X (commonly abbreviated dx) was the name of an online journaling service which allowed Internet users to create and maintain a journal or diary. It was launched in 2000, and between half and three-quarters of its users were between 14 and 19 years old.Basic use was free, though for a small fee users could email their entries. The creator and webmaster was Stephen Deken. In early 2006, the server's hard drive failed. Since there was no backup, the entire website and all of the users' diaries were lost irretrievably^"

^{yea..that was about the time i started blogger.com.. i wish i had saved a copy of those things i wrote on my hard disk. argh.}

breaking down next

2011-12-02T13:19:00.002+08:00

i thought i can save the last portions of eclipse for my journey home this evening. guess i was eager to read how it ends.

i'll start breaking dawn this evening.

the movie puts faces to the characters in the book; pretty faces i must admit. however, the book contains more details than what those faces can personify. in the book, bella was torn and that internal struggle she puts up between 2 loves, i think the movie didn't quite bring that out well. bella in the movie feels abit too distant and acts indifferent to how she feels towards jacob.

anyway, i thought it's a fresh storyline of a romance triangle between characters of a different world. surreal yet attention grabbing.

i think i've been talking alot about books on my blogs recently. what a nerd i am! i am glued to my kindle the moment i board the mrt till the time it reaches my stop.

weekend is here! rifle range! bt timah walk? or just bum at home!

let's go for a walk some time

2011-11-30T22:32:00.003+08:00

whenever i fish out my kindle from my bag and start reading, i feel enclaved into another world. stepping into this warped world of literature.

loaded my kindle with my books by jap writers. revving to finish eclipse followed by breaking dawn very soon.

work is starting to step up as it moves into the year end. i am wondering if i should pack a sleeping bag and supplies to work. it may just come in handy soon.

been wanting to plan out some races to do with yenling but haven't got into the right frame of mind to do so.

want to make time to go for a walk at bt timah. can't remember when was the last time i went there. i kind of miss mountain biking there..but i think i lack the courage to 'risk' my life/limbs in such manner these days. i was lucky that fine day, back 6 years ago.

alright. time to get to bed and snuggle in with dearie. =)

eclipsed

2011-11-29T13:48:00.002+08:00

i'm 2/5th done with eclipse book. the movie is not totally true to the book. apart from ommisions, the movie makers made some changes to the storyline too.

i should be in good progress to complete the book by end of this week.

next up is breaking dawn.

then i start on japanese writers: starting with some books by kazuo ishiguro, recommendation by yenling.

mono at part time

2011-11-26T13:49:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling like i'm suffering from mono with this part time job. just a little burnt out.

yenling and i have made plans to spend christmas together. we'll be extending the invitation to isabel too. it'll be like a girls night! hopefully bel doesn't bring her beetroot salad to the party..haha

what should i do? stop? quit?

i'm somewhat unsure how dec will look. pretty sure i'll be busy with work, ot-ing daily for an extended period of time.

i do not actually need the money that badly. it's extra pocket money and it's pretty brainless work too. just that sometimes the sacarsm from the boss can be a wee too much. on top of the flashing of her xx carat diamond ring (which almost blinded me under the sunlight) and gawdy fashion show parade of her branded bags.. all that in rojak comparison of how calculative and mercenary she can sometimes be.. shrugs. i try not to think about it too much into it.

yea, maybe i should not think so much about it. just move along for now. it's not painfully unbearable, yet.

eclipse next

2011-11-25T08:52:00.002+08:00

i'm done with new moon. i thought the movie got a little draggy at the end, the book is way MORE draggy! but i think reading is alot less yawn+sleep inducing than actually seeing actors and actresses put up a show that making way too many detours.

i thought the twilight series started well with the first. the story kind of plunges into a boring drag in the 2nd. now i'm on to the third. not particularly excited about it; i'm reading it more because i want to finish what i started. a story should have an ending. i want to read the series in totality.

i'm giving myself till end of next week to finish eclipse.

the kindle is the best thing in my bag right now. without it, i will not be able to devour so many books. it's a gem!

read liberated

2011-11-24T13:03:00.002+08:00

i never noticed how reading can be..liberating.

i can be that pair of eyes looking at someone's life. i can almost hear the protagonist's heart speak from the words. for a moment, i can almost feel like i'm standing at the cliff's edge. the next moment, feels like i've got a vampire breathing down my neck.

knowledge sets one free too. being in the know. understanding why things happen the way they do.

i've almost cleared out that stack of old newspapers underneath my workstation. i'm only left those dated a month ago. it should all be done by tomorrow.

i'm more than 60% done with new moon. i'll try to finish it by sunday. watch eclipse on sat or sun then read eclipse. the plan is to read breaking dawn..because it'll be a long while before i'll be able to catch the show itself.

the next 2 books will well bring me to somewhere close to year end closing, by then, i'll be so stretched at work to have much energy left for reading.

alright.. time to look into the cfmas exams which could be the new goal for 2012. fics..cfmas. hmm..next year might be a busy year!

seven billion

2011-11-22T13:22:00.002+08:00

un leader, mr ban ki moon, has this to say on the birth of the seven billionth child.

where ever he or she is born, "will be born into a world of contradiction". "plenty of food, but still a billion of people going to bed hungry every night. many people enjoy luxurious lifestyles, but still many people are improverished".

"Seven billion people who need enough food. Enough energy. Good opportunities in life for jobs and education. Rights and freedoms. The freedom to speak. The freedom to raise their own children in peace and security."

"Everything you want for yourself - seven billion times over".

wow. seven billion.

7,000,000,000.

new moon

2011-11-21T13:27:00.002+08:00

done with twilight. the movie was pretty true to the book. a sweet romance novel.

i'm suppose to slot a non fiction book between this but i think i may just end up with new moon next. haha.

not so lucky

2011-11-19T14:21:00.002+08:00

i had 100/1500 chance of winning something..but i got none. -pout-

ok, i have to admit i never had luck with lucky draws.

the d&d programme was a little boring. the food was alright. the company was good though.

winning the lucky draw would have made the uneventful night fantastic.

bare some fangs

2011-11-17T12:39:00.002+08:00

i am behind target for twillight..only slightly more than half way through the book..but i'm enjoying the book..it's one of those nice lovey-dovey romance novels..though it still lacks that sweep-me-off-the-feet kind of tryst in the judith mcnaught novels i love. maybe vampires and werewolves feels much too surreal..too far fetched than the dukes, knights and medieval dudes..

so target has been moved backwards to next week.

oh ya..review of the high fidelity movie we caught over last weekend.

it has 50% less vulgarities..it put up about 85% of what you can read in the book. overall a pleasant movie though dearie fell asleep half way through it.

twilight up next

2011-11-14T08:53:00.003+08:00

this is next on the list. target to complete by end of the week.

maybe i'll hop back onto the catch me if you can bandwagon..then hobble back to this series again.

let's see how it goes.

after seeing so many good playing on the guitar through the weekend, i have an impetus to take guitar lessons..progress on from my G-C-D chords. then again..playing the guitar hurts my fingers. i get this tender to touch on my fingertips before hard skin starts to form. it makes playing the piano uncomfortable after playing the guitar. argh. i think i'll stick to listening to guitar music for the easier way out of things. hahahah

high fi done

2011-11-12T15:52:00.001+08:00

High Fidelity done. funny book in a crude way. it was like reading into the author's mind.

what's next? should i start my twillight series now?

next: high fidelity

2011-11-08T16:52:00.001+08:00

a whole new mind done. today i started high fidelity (paperback).

target to finish by end of this week or beginning of next.

i want to read my twillight series after this.

hoho, when are my finance books going to be next in line?

good quote from a whole new mind

2011-11-06T11:53:00.002+08:00

The capacity to see the big picture if perhaps most important as an antidote to the variety of psychic woes brought forth by the remarkable prosperity and plentitude of our times. Many of us are crunched for time, deluged by information, and paralysed by the weight of too many choices. The best prescription for these modern maladies may be to approach one’s own life in a contextual, big-picture fashion – to distinguish between what really matters and what merely matters.

half way through this book and i've got to many good quotes to keep.

ahh..i want a copy of this book for keeps!

wowow..i'm onto the last bits of the book and u know what? daniel pink (the author) actually made reference to viktor frankl and his book, man's search for meaning. that was the book i read right before this.

i love reading! =) especially when i get to read and listen to mahler's symphony at the same time. hohoho!

a new mind?

2011-11-04T15:35:00.002+08:00

completed man's search for meaning.

onto a whole new mind in HARDCOVER. it's so un-tricia to be lugging a hardcover in her bag.

got to read 6 pages of catch me if you can. interesting read. that will be next after this one.

no blackie. i need meaning.

2011-10-29T13:54:00.002+08:00

1/3 through with the black swan and i gave up. it is beyond me. clockwork orange made better sense than this book. this is a far cry from fooled by randomness. this was one of the very few occasions which i didn't even bother to browse through the rest of the book and simply closed it shut (literally, because mine was in soft copy).

i thought i wanted to read something which made more sense, so it's on to this.. man's search for meaning. =)

night review

2011-10-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

i finished Elie Wiesel's Night. It is a great book! =)

Found this photo which was described in the book, the gate to the camp which bore the words "Arbeit Macht Frei" (it means Work Sets You Free). How oxymoronic.

Next book, back to The Black Swan.

2011-10-21T14:32:00.003+08:00

i got deviated from the next book on the to read list. this is because i spent lunch time reading up about holocaust (just to give me a better understanding of the context which diary of anne frank was written in).

i googled for "good books on holocaust" and found out i have one ebook in my kindle which was rated quite well! therefore, taking a skip from the black swan, my official next read is this:

not a very thick book..so target to complete this by mid or late next week.

read

2011-10-21T08:10:00.005+08:00

completed this after a break from it for mags:

this is next on the line..managed to find a soft copy which i can read over my kindle. target to complete? end of the month. will update my next read soon!

define success

2011-10-16T10:51:00.002+08:00

a recent sense of aimless awakened me to find goals for my time in the company.

i walked through a shopping mall on the way to my part time work; i was surrounded by youths. it reminded me of my younger years which don't seem too far off. my mummy has never given me excessive pressure on how i should perform in school, but just reminded me to always do my best.

i listened to the standford's commencement speeches steve jobs and oprah made.

he talked about connecting the dots, that we cannot see into the future how things work together. we only start to connect the dots when we look back.

a good education opens doors. i sat on a table with bankers over dinner, one of the analyst (presumably the lowest tier in investment banking) was an imperial college graduate.

while i try to tell myself, how successful you are is not determined by that college certificate (looking at the richest people in the world, not many even graduated from college), but the truth is good education will give you some form of leverage in life.

i haven't had a fabulous education which i can flaunt of but i hope i can still do some catch up now. i am not sure if my non-confrontational personality will be good as i move on..yet i know i don't want to become someone i am not.

ok, back to goals. my short term goal while i serve my "term" is to read tenaciously. i want to devour as much publications as i can. i'm almost done with my outdated bloomberg markets mags, though old editions, still contain relevant information. my company has a library with a reasonable collection of books, open for staff to borrow. i think i should make use of that resource. as dearie works in a tertiary institution now, that literally means i have greater access to even more publications. after i finish my current to-read-list, i am getting dearie to help me borrow bloomberg markets mags regularly for reading.

i've started my garang guni work in office again. i've been getting colleagues to pass me old newspapers which are due for disposal from the racks. those are usually straits times and business time which are 3-5days old. i collect them in a neat pile underneath my table and i read them over lunch. apart from the news websites, these are the sources of current affairs updates. ahh..so much to read but so little time. did i say i want to start reading chinese papers too? never quite got around them too! (haven't seen chinese papers in the office too)

i've been penning my learning into emails and sending them to dearie and bro. i hope i don't bore them off..but i think sharing it helps me learn better..

i listen to definitions of success. everyone define success differently to much extent. i think i should be working harder to earn more. i think i should be saving more. i think i should be more aggressive at work.. but looking back at it, at the end of the day, does it give me the success..or "success" in inverted commas? somehow, i think being happy is important. i am happy when i get to tinkle the ivories..i am happy when i can go for a good run.. i am happy when i can cook for dearie and he finishes all the food. i am happy when i can spend time with family.. do all these fall into the definition of success?

don't want to think too much. i'll just keep up with my learning and reading.. let's see where the road leads to. =)

cert collector

2011-10-01T08:59:00.003+08:00

it has been another draining week at work. the long nights make the work feel like it's never ending. let's hope this ends in another 1-2weeks because those involved are over whelmed by the blistering speed reports have to be handed in.

it made me wonder how we can do things better and of course faster.

it made me think if i can do this for years to come.

a recent discussion with a new colleague made me feel life has to be more purposeful than just getting by. i am irritated by the term "cert collector" she used, because i value the learning process over that piece of paper. she probably thinks why have i attained so much academically but still not doing fantastically in my career development.

honestly, i must agree that good career development requires more than just academic qualifications. i have cornered myself by choosing to join my current job. i have no choice but to stay on and make the best of my time here. i tell myself repeatedly, next time it has to be a step forward, no more stepping backwards or staying on the spot anymore.

should i do the cfa is still a question mark. it's more a structured learning than actually getting that title itself, because to attain the title will be almost impossible for now given that i lack of the 4 yrs' relevant experience.

while i get this all figured out, i should be working on my financial model now (stilll not done and it's due soon!)

absolute randomness

2011-09-17T14:11:00.000+08:00

This blog is so out of date. Will it become obsolete soon? I hope not. Things that we don’t constantly keep up with, tend to get phased out unknowingly.

So here I am, at my part time job, thinking how to start on my financial model. I have no idea where to start. It’s easy to take someone’s model and start changing improving..but to build one up from scratch is tough.

I have this long list of things I classify as I should do. But how many of those am I actually doing..eh.. I’ll rather not count. At this moment, the only thing I want to do is go home, laze around with dearie and sleep through another 2-3hours.

Last week at work was a tough one.. going on course for 3 days and having to go back to office every day after the course. I was feeling penalized for going on course. Nevertheless the course was enjoyable and I certainly learnt much.

The poa assignment didn’t quite work out in the end, too bad for a short assignment which could give me some additional earnings.

I am expecting a tough 2 weeks ahead. With the board paper and board meeting presentation slides due just a day apart, it’ll be like chasing after a mrt. But whatever it is, I just hope to do a good job which will earn me a decent appraisal by year end. After all, my bonus hinges on all these.

My sweet sour fish didn’t turn out fantastic last week. I hope the curry fish will be a better attempt tonight.

I better start working on my model now. No time to lose!

finally!

2011-08-16T22:39:00.002+08:00

after talking about this for a long long time..i'm finally getting a dream come true. it is out of luck we chanced upon this buy..we are getting it less than half price for a 4 year old baby grand.

i'm excited..though i am also jittery about how i will justify buying it. it just means i will have to work another 1.5years of part time to fully recover this. for something like a piano, there'll be no economic return. it is not income generating; only noise generating in my case.

i think it gives me something to look forward to at the end of every work day. i'm not particularly excited by work these days. i feel happy thinking about coming home to see dearie.. to go for a run.. to have dinner with dearie and john. not forgetting to play the piano too! it's about finding joy in life. i think what brings joy is definitely outside the office :)

grand cycle

2011-07-19T13:31:00.002+08:00

Whenever i listen to Yiruma's music, I will start browsing soft forum and ebay for 2nd hand pianos. And I'll have an urge to lay my hands on a piano and start practising the same pieces.

I'll always start looking at digital pianos for their affordable prices. But I always start shrugging them off as they can never sound like acoustic ones.

Then I drool over the nice grand Yiruma plays on.

Then I dream I have one like that.

Then I snap back to reality that I will never play like him nor will I own one. =(

in part

2011-07-09T09:18:00.002+08:00

dearie has been persuading me to quit the part time job as he thinks i should have more time to rest. i can't decide.

i took up the part time because i thought i should work harder and earn more in whatever ways i can. moreover, dearie was doing his masters and spent many saturdays in school. i could better utilise my time by working. however, dearie has completed his masters now but i'm still working on both sat and sun.

haven't had much luck with tuition assignments; this will be a good alternative to the current part time job.

the expectations of the part time job is being raised repeatedly recently. these days i will receive sms during weekdays, telling me to do this..do that..i remain clear cut that i do not do part time work during weekdays, as i am paid by my full time job to do my full time work. part time work does not cross that line. dearie reminded me to be firm on that, as once i gave in to it, it will not end. it just adds on. i tell myself, i will do whatever i can within that 4 hours which i am paid to work. whatever else, i must remain pragmatic and hold my ground.

i am looking forward to the centro run coming later this month. these short breaks give me a breather from work.

need to plan for my mandatory block leave soon.. whenever i tell dearie i need a holiday, he'll reply, "just quit your part time job." =|

holidays have been put on hold for now..got to start saving again.

thinking twice, i should hold on to the part time job. every cent counts. happy or not, so long it pays, just work.

when the going gets tough

2011-07-01T13:20:00.002+08:00

the last 2 weeks has been extremely trying. the only thing i look forward to every night is for that warm embrace waiting for me at home. sometimes he cooks me marvellous dinners which warms my tummy and my heart.

it is when you are tired, you realise there is someone who is propping you up from your back. sometimes while supporting me, he gives me a nice massage on my shoulders.

i like burying my face on the contours of his shoulder and neck. i am just thankful for having him around.

he tells me don't give up. keep my spirit up. try my best. he reminds me, don't worry, he will take care of everything else.

it brings a smile on my face all the time. =)

factor x

2011-06-27T16:40:00.002+08:00

there were many races in the past weeks and months. facebook seems really hyped with many personal bests, victories and completions.

but we are not part of those.

while others celebrated, we also had reached another milestone. i think it marks alot for both of us. it's evidence that we are slowly building something; that one step at a time we are scaling the hill. we may just progress to a mountain in near future too.

it made me feel i must be working harder. i am only young once. this is the time to really work and make my mark. not wait till i'm old and then lament i have not accomplished much.

we will and must achieve more in time to come. =) life has moved beyond just races. i think there are also other very important 'races' we must embark. for those, the distance is x.

ABC treat

2011-06-26T21:58:00.002+08:00

our ABC treat for the A-boy!

bro and his chicken cutlet. he called it sinful!

dearie enjoying his chicken cutlet as always :)

i picked the 'less sinful' chicken chop. at least it was not swimming in oil before it came on my plate.haha!

clearing it out of the way

2011-06-12T23:40:00.002+08:00

yay! what an accomplished weekend.

managed to close the year-end books for my mummy, filed the eci and i've just completed the tax computation. last step is to print everything out, check through, get her to sign off and then send it in to iras.

for something i've been putting off for almost a month, i'm glad i got around doing it. kick that lazy bug and once i start on it, i must finish it.

at least i know i can totally focus all my time on work now, without having to think about all these outstanding things which i must do but just too lazy to sit down in front of the pc after work each day.

so let's see, check them through during lunch time. bring them all down to mummy by tuesday or so.

last item on the list is to file the annual return which is just click click click..nothing to file since we are an exempt company. and that completes the entire reporting cycle.

if i can wake up early on tomorrow, perhaps i should go to office early and get these done first thing in the morning. then i can start working on all the board papers from tomorrow onwards.

well done, tricia. i deserve a pat on the back!

opportunity

2011-06-11T09:32:00.002+08:00

should i go back to office later after i knock off at kip? i still have alot of things to look at and study.. but i'm feeling if i stepped back to office, getting out of it in 1-2hours will be difficult.

dearie and i did a 5km time trial. i think my pacing went all hay wire without a watch. started way too fast and i was struggling badly to keep up by the 7th lap. i am thankful dearie kept me company for the last 2 laps. at the 10.5 laps, dearie called out 23:20. maybe i was feeling delirious, i actually told myself let's try for 27min, without thinking i only had 3:40 to complete 800m. that means i must run 1:50 per 400m. i was too tired to actually do the maths then; i overestimated myself. i completed the 5km at 27:30, feeling a little disappointed i didn't manage to come in before 27. nevertheless, dearie said it was a good effort. at 2:12/lap is nothing to be proud of, but i will try to do better next time!

next time, i must bring my watch so i can keep tab of my pace. =) we'll be gradually increasing the time trial to 10km when we approach closer to our race. i'm not targeting for any pb this round as i've been busy with work to train properly. i just hope to keep at a 6min pace for the least through the race and complete the 12km run within 1:12!

the pace at work has been revving up. apart from the quarter close that's coming in another 1-2 weeks' time, i've been tasked with new responsibilities. i was initially left out of the quarter reporting but was later given a chance to be a part of it. i'll be thankful just to start off with slides or a small role but i was instead given a 'meaty' role - financial analysis of trust expenses for board paper queries. as my colleague took the time to go through the gist of the role, i am seeing pieces of the puzzle fall into place. i see how my treasury portion come into the picture with the rest of the analysis. the whole process will be painful and tedious but i am invigorated by the challenge.

sometimes we just need someone to give us the opportunity. and i am very lucky to be given the chance. now it's up to me to do a good job and impress.

after penning these, i ought to go back to office later and start going through the work. =)

bum bum

2011-06-08T22:59:00.002+08:00

bummer must be my last name.

i've got a long list of things to do but my brain is in hibernation mode; don't feel like doing anything.

it's like the monthly carried down brought down thing. i keep pushing it off to the next day. man, i hate my darn attitude.

no potential part time to take up. the door to the group tuition seems closed for now too.

i need to find other avenues to get around this.

but first i need to quit bumming around.

rediscovered

2011-05-28T10:28:00.003+08:00

we are rediscovering the joy, pain and alot of persipiration of interval training.

both of us felt the same way yesterday. bones are falling apart!

no pain no gain?

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying

2011-05-27T12:43:00.001+08:00

heard this song in the american idol finale. the lyrics are very meaningful.

He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

smiley meal

2011-05-17T21:15:00.003+08:00

dearie said i must post up photos of the smiley meal he cooked for me =) it put a smile on my face when i saw this!

this was my candlelight smiley meal =) cute isn't it?

vesak day

2011-05-17T20:45:00.003+08:00

dearie said my blog lacks of some food photos - good hawker food and home cooked ones.

so here's one post with some food photos.

today's vesak day and it has been a very well spent day for me.

we hit the trails at mr today. 11.5km for me, 15km or so for dearie.

nothing can be better than a good meal after a good run. we headed to tanglin halt road, our new breakfast haunt. instead of the usual min jian kuey and chee cheong fun, i had the lor mee and dearie had the char siew rice. my ratings for the foodie there as follows:

the min jian kuey is great! the peanut filling overflows from the freshly made kuey. the best i've eaten so far.

handmade chee cheong fun. not bad too but dearie finds it too salty. for $3, it comes with a bowl of porridge. great deal.

lor mee, not fantastic for me. old changi road lor mee still stands best for me. this one pales to the clementi one, in my view.

char siew-xio ba rice! the charsiew and xio ba are delectable. better than the jurong east one. hoho. i can't remember if this is better than the muar one or not. hmm!

kopi and teh at the end of the meal. 70cents each. cheap and nice. i love the mixture of condensed and evaporated milk. it gives the kopi and teh a nice milky taste.

we shopped ikea and queensway after breakfast. dearie and i tried the sky speed and cumulus 12. both are great shoes. we can probably budget them into the next few months' expenditure if we are keen to get either pair.

we talked about tidying the house and got to work immediately once we got home. dearie packed the storeroom while i cleared the guest room and 2 wardrobes. proud of myself with all the tidying and throwing. it's good to do housekeeping because we tend to unknowingly accumulate unnecessary things. we threw out a few bags of old unwanted things. packed old clothes into bags to be sent off to salvation army over the weekend. with the help of a few containers/baskets, i managed to organise quite a bit of things. i finished all with vacuuming and mopping up.

as we did not have lunch, we had early dinner. i attempted to cook tofu-chicken patties but they turned out pretty ugly. no photos taken. dearie still ate them all up despite their not-too-pleasant look. i think i should stick to my usual mcpork patties.

all in all a public holiday well spent!

small like a single grain of sand

2011-05-10T21:36:00.002+08:00

the immersion programme has been great so far. enjoyed the property run on day 1. gained much from the presentations by different business units' senior management.

the same thoughts and emotions flooded me again. feeling all small and insignificant, hoping i could do more to contribute to the big picture.

what is evident is the dynamism of the business and scale of the organisation. but i cannot exactly picture where my position is in the midst of it.

what value do i bring?

i know what reports i need to complete. i know when i need to complete them. i know who are helping me make sure i get them done. i know when i need to start placing out funds. i know who i should call and who will decide on the tenor. i think the work is some what defined. yet, what can i do to add value is not defined. perhaps i think too much. just do my job and get paid. simple isn't it?

there's something in me that tells me i must aim higher. i don't want to spend the next 5-10years updating spreadsheets. i don't just want to be just someone who ensures i close my books on time, get my reports out on time and updates cashflow projections. i hope one day i can be that someone who can stand on somewhere higher and make significant decisions. but i ask myself how far is it from here to there? how to get there? when can i get there? what must i do to get there?

unlike studying, i know how many modules i must complete. i know what are the assignments and exams i must clear. i know definitely when i fulfill the required credits, i will obtain that qualification. but now for career, it is not so. it's so fuzzy and you can't even see what kind of a path you are going down. will it hit a dead end? could i be merely walking on the spot? am i being impatient?

a mentor will be really good to have. someone who has gone down the same road and walked out of it well.

someone who can tell me, i am just a grain of sand, but i am part of something bigger.

worth it

2011-05-08T23:01:00.003+08:00

tomorrow dearie will be taking his last paper of his course. jia you! the finishing line is so close now!

the journey is hard but i'm sure it's worth every effort. we will look back and give thanks that we chose to take the less trodden path. =)

dust settles

2011-05-08T13:16:00.002+08:00

i refrained from facebook in the last few days because all the comments put up by friends were too much to bear. i cannot fathom why are people so repulsive?

all i read are complaints after complaints. some were mean and blatant. it'll be too much work to start hiding all those mean comments, hence i chose not to log on.

there is no right or wrong, but i do think we must stop complaining and start counting our blessings too. singaporeans are very affluent. most of us are well educated and hold jobs which earn us a decent living. we are always fast to criticise and lament (oops, i feel guilty of that too!). what about counting our blessing and giving thanks?

be less critical of others, unless you like to be criticised. who are we to judge in the first place?

although i do have opinions of some candidates, but i think it takes boldness to step up and take lead. how many of us can do that?

hope all the dust will settle and rants will cease soon. instead of criticising ceaselessly, if it's that unbearable, why don't they just pack and leave? move on to somewhere they feel will offer them equal opportunities, listen to them and act in their benefit. it'll definitely be better than creating all that negativity.

piano marketplace

2011-05-07T09:35:00.003+08:00

i've been checking out piano sale ads on ebay and soft forum everyday; it is hard to value a piano. i see reposts of certain pianos repeatedly. it is very hard to sell pianos. how do sellers fairly value them? how much are buyers willing to pay?

not too long ago, someone posted a yamaha baby grand at a very attractive price. i called her up and was told she'll get back to me. moments later, she raised the price by 60%. she didn't honour her initial price, making potential buyers look like fools chasing over a bargain. i still see the piano on the ads, i wonder if she eventually sold it to some gullible fool?

there was another lovely baby grand put on sale recently too. but this seller refused to lower her price. it was priced close to 2k more than the yamaha and was twice the age. same length. similar make.

conclusion, if you intend to buy a piano, use it. selling it second hand may not be easy. unless you are willing to let it go cheap..which in this world, people don't want to 'lugi' so much.

reflective p

2011-04-30T10:49:00.002+08:00

pretty amused by all the hullabaloo going on as the election day draws closer.

feels like a stirred up concoction of soil and water, it's all murky now. people getting all emotional with how 'oppressed' we've been under all these years. and how something 'new' will literally set us free.

i often walk pass this koi bubble tea at clementi. i read people craving for their gong cha over the facebook news feed. yet till now, i've not tried it nor do i think i'll do so any time soon. shortly after the success of koi, recently i got to know more of such bubble tea shops popping up.

it's like a reminiscence of the bubble tea bubble some years back. remember how so many bubble tea shops sprouted so rapidly, people were queuing for it..and then after a short period of a year, many folded.

i'm not sure if such a stir-up is exactly good. does it help us make better decisions?

i don't like the fact because the stir up is in its ever all time high that i am seeing unknown people coming in to contest for a bit of a pie.

for now i'm going to take a indifferent stance. so much for rising costs, i'm going to off to work to bring back more. i know to stay ahead is much how i want to deal with it, instead of pointing finger at the government for doing not enough to help. am i even trying to help myself to begin with?

ill fitting me

2011-04-23T21:56:00.003+08:00

i think my waredrobe is getting very out of date. i can't remember when was the last time i bought a new dress. the latest additions were giveaways from friends.

i look at fashion with little interest these days. i'm not sure what suits me as i hardly go shopping..and hence i don't try on many new clothes either.

i browse some online blogshops but i cannot imagine myself in those tubes, dresses and skirts.

as my clothes grow ill fitting, i pack them into bags and tuck them into the store room.

strangely, many of the clothes i used to like somehow seem really out of fashion sense..and for some reason i am finding them sticking on my body at the wrong places.

so a part of me is thinking i ought to go out shopping more. another part of me looks at myself and wonder what should i be wearing. then the last part of me looks at my expenditure list and think i can probably put off shopping for another month or so (i'm thinking my money can be saved up for a holiday or grand instead?)

can't figure what to do with myself. =(

broke my mug

2011-04-20T11:58:00.000+08:00

I broke the magnetic mug my mum gave me. Remember the last time I broke my mug when I was leaving vv in dec 2009. I received my confirmation letter on 18 april and I broke my mug on 19 april. Is that a sign that my days are numbered? O_O

I am gradually finding more focus in my work these days. It is about that edge over others. I do lack those years of experience compared to many around me, but what can I then excel upon? What do I have that others may not or may have neglected in developing? Can I find something that I can specialize at, such that it helps me narrow that differential between my colleagues and I?

And so, I found there can be things I can be good at and if I did it to my best, it can give me some leverage. But it means asking more questions, finding more answers, seeking to understand things beyond face value, thinking ahead of what may be asked instead of scrambling for an answer only when questioned.

Will this way work? No one can tell but it’s worth the try.

poli-what?

2011-04-16T10:38:00.003+08:00

i'm no political correspondent or observer.. but just a few observations as ge draws nearer.

we watched the questions with pm programme yesterday and it made me think.

the burning issues that have been asked repeatedly(like a broken record).. my first thoughts were: these are things that are not caused by the government. why not blame the rising prices on natural disasters and food shortages. food at its source is getting more expensive.. naturally we will see that cup of kopi costing us more now.

i think workforce these days is mobile. globalisation. when singaporeans move to work in a foreign land, aren't we foreign talent too? would we not hope those countries will welcome us and not shut us off like plague?

creating more jobs. upgrading of skills. these are the ways we will stay competitive. so will you rather the government hands out billions of welfare every year..people rather live off welfare than seek employment? (i can already think of a country which is facing this problem)

we lament foreigners taking away our jobs..but how many out of us are ready to take on construction work.. retail work? we are choosy to begin with. those from the foreign lands are willing to take on anything that earns them a decent living.

oh yes..and about the priority in upgrading of estates. logically think about it. if another party is in ruling, will that party give the opposition priority such upgrading projects too? will they not consider their own parties' constituencies first? aiya, it's human nature right?

dearie received a handout on someone contesting in our constituency whom i've never met..nor did his introduction seem to contain any work amongst the dwellers here. why would you make me think you make a representation to our views? just because you have some roll of scholastic achievements? i dumped the handout away shortly after glancing through it. i don't think i'll want to vote him for the sake of 'not voting the ruling party'..nor will i want to vote for someone who only appears during ge.

i think even if some other parties ruled our country, those issues will not dissipate over night. these will still be issues tussled over and over again. not simply just faced by us, but in fact globally.

while everyone is just concerned of the problem itself, why not make change at the source? if we are losing out in terms of employment, then retraining and upgrading is the way to stay ahead, if not on par. it's about time we shed that pampered child attitude and expect our parents to continue to fill our pockets when we are not even taking effort to earn ourselves a decent living.

i hope i don't find blue men knocking at my door for coffee. =P

how much more is needed

2011-04-14T23:29:00.002+08:00

i had the privilege to attend the project dinner organised by the ceo. it's an honour getting to know and be introduced to him.

i was the smallest in the group of 10. the group made up of managers, head, deputy head..while i was just a mere executive.

it made me really want to do more and move up faster. knowing i am not gifted, i must work harder. then again, there must be opportunities. if i do not get the opportunities, how then can i at least earn some brownie points in the meantime?

to be honest i don't know too.

studying feels abit out of scope. i cannot afford the fees of another course though i won't mind allocating time to do so.

volunteer somewhere which can gain more relevant experience? like what?

sign up for some short courses perhaps? do u know how costly courses are these days?

dearie says i think too much.. just do my best in excelling in what i do now..take things one at a time..

but i feel for someone like me, a lateboomer, i do have to catch up on lost time. like i've grown up in a not so well to do environment, the scarcity of money taught me to value it more.

work hard. very hard. and let's hope it will get me somewhere!

work never ends

2011-04-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

work has been hectic. i barely had time and energy to run much in the past week. i only managed to run twice of 8km each. it's pathetic.

overtime feels like a friend now.

busy but i am learning alot. it's difficult but at least i feel i'm pushing my limits each time.

finally got my confirmation too. yay!

my boss asked me if work is interesting. i replied, "hmm. challenging."

i felt i've been strolling in the park in the past. now i'm running; chasing to catch up with the rest.

i actually had to bring work home to go through over the weekend. now i'm trying to get access to work too.

dearie said i should give up the part time job. but i do enjoy the work there. boss is nice. kids are nice. work is relatively easy too. and it's extra cash i can get to save up too.

for the many reasons, i have to keep my head up and keep treading on!

crash out access

2011-04-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

i've never been a very technically inclined person. i remember crying over a crashed pc which i helplessly could not handle.

i'm here trying my hands on microsoft access. a programme i've never used before. attempting to use it for treasury management.

i'm wondering if i'm being 'backside itchy'. there are afterall reports which have been created for the various functions; i can easily just keep up with them. yet, i am trying to find a better way around it. centralise the information. integrate the sources of information so that it can be easily available in one place. find ways to improve the processes, make it less manual.

but it's really making my head crack. it's like a trial and error process here. i do not have access in the office. to get it installed will mean license cost. i have to be very sure i need it before i justify the need to have it installed. in the meantime, i am still grappling with how to use it, how can i possibly justify?

i need a dummy's guide.

am i trying too hard?

my boss says it's value add. but i am not even sure if i'll be adding value at the end of it? until i can make things work in access, i have to keep up with the current reports. so it's like parallel running 2 things. it'll be worth the work if we know the new way will take off. however, for now, it's still a big question mark.

so what else?

2011-03-28T12:23:00.015+08:00

I constantly have to remind myself of the things I can do to better utilize my time.

Things that don’t cost me anything or much:

1. Read – started reading the book dearie helped me borrow from NTU business library. Fooled by Randomness. I am already feeling it is a good read and I might want to get my hands on a copy to keep.

2. Practise the piano – this is something I can definitely do more about..but I’m always full of excuses about it. I think I make too much noise; I need a silent piano. I think my current piano sound unpleasant; I need a new piano. After going round and round the bush, it all boils down to this – I don’t play and practice enough to sound good. That’s the truth which I am trying to hide from; giving excuses that I need a new piano in order to reignite my fervor for playing.

3. Read more Chinese books and newspapers – I do need to polish up on my Chinese. I miss reading my zhang xiao xian novels..but I can’t seem to find any pdf versions of them to download. I’m wondering if I can retrieve my old copies of her novels from the store room and re-read them all over again. Then again, I’m unsure where are they sitting in my mummy’s storeroom.

4. Self study – that’s a big big thing I need to do..which is seemingly vague, isn’t it?

Things that will cost me much:

1. Learn a new language – via classes. I’ve got no idea how much it’ll cost me, but I’m sure it’ll be a long term investment (spanning over 2-3years at least) and long term commitment to attend classes

2. Go for a 1 year course on something – I have yet to figure what that something can be. Real estate management? Economics? Do the CFA (which will probably take me a lot longer than 1 year and heaps more effort/brain cells)?

3. Buy a new piano (a grand will be so nice) and start some lessons perhaps – it’ll be nice to start learning again. Nice is the word. But no practicality in it though. I don’t intend to retake my diploma again because I have no confidence I can commit the time and effort into the process. I don’t think I am talented and I know because I do not have the flair, I need to put in double if not triple the effort.

4. Find more income generating work – I can see dearie mumbling, “what?!” when he reads this. But I think I have enough drive to do more. But realistically, I can’t think of any part time job flexible enough to fit into the time I have left. This is more like a want-to-do (if I have 48hours a day) but cannot-do.

And so, conclusion is, i have to do more than what I am doing now. I need to find time, get rid of excuses and prioritise what I have to do. After all, this second spent will never come back again. We only live this life once.

needless blog & things

2011-03-26T10:45:00.002+08:00

why am i feeling this sense of detachment from blogging these days?

feels like i've grown out of this space. maybe there's less i want to let others know.. and more i'll like to hide within my walls of defense.

i am working my way through the school of hard knocks. painful but necessary.

i am learning to give thanks more than whine about things. at least i have made it so far, though the sky seems limitless.

still waiting for a holiday. but the word is wait. it's not time yet.

almost time for work soon.

i feel an impetus to go shopping. buy some new things for myself and dearie. you know? pretty things. new shoes. new clothes. new bags. that sort of things that's classified more of wants than needs. needless. useless at times. but like chocolates, they give u some momentary happiness when you first hold them in your hands. i just feel like i should do some needless things! haha.

a little more won't harm

2011-03-06T19:44:00.003+08:00

entries on this blog have slowed down by a whole lot.. which is pretty contrary to what is happening at work. which is not altogether a bad thing.

and so, pace at work has picked up a whole lot. time passes so quickly. alot to learn.

i walked into clarke quay for the first time in my life. i have often walked pass but have never walked into it. it's a nice place. i never expected it to look so good honestly.

managed to practise a little on the piano. i still sound horrible. and i still wish i had a new piano though i definitely don't deserve one.

wanted to officially retire my asics cumulus but i still put it back to my shoe rack in case i needed it. the plan was to go for seoul marathon first half of this year. however, due to the new job, it'll have to be put on hold. asics running shoes there are priced cheaper than those in singapore. i doubt i'll get any holiday from now till 3rd quarter this year. so meantime, i'll make do with the tempo and see how long more the verona can last.

it will be good to have more to go around..then i won't be thinking if i have budget for things which will be nice to have. maybe i might be a little more generous to those around me? haha.

alright. got to research on fct perpetual preference shares and read my cash mangement book. this will help my work next week. jia you!

difficult people

2011-02-28T18:16:00.001+08:00

needs to find some means to deal with a difficult colleague at work.

broken piggy

2011-02-26T21:22:00.002+08:00

exceeded my monthly budget big time this month. half of it went to cny ang pao =(

i am going to ensure this will not continue in a trend. i will have to average it out next month. i feel like leaving my wallet at home tomorrow and monday.

i saw a friend sharing photos of her online loots and i started to wonder how come she has so much money to go around?

call me weirdo but i actually feel insecure when i don't save a good proportion of my income. i start to conjure ideas of taking up some tuition assignments so i can save more.

not that i am trying to hoard up cash..but i think having liquid assets is important. i hope we can diligently save up to be able to make some significant investments for the future. while i wish i can do more shopping, have more pretty clothes etc, all these do not bring us to greater financial freedom. work hard now, enjoy later.

light upon my feet

2011-02-16T16:03:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow marks my 1 month with the company. As I reviewed where I have progressed to and what have I accomplished, I was in dismay.

I was in this state of uncertainty and I was somewhat regretting the decision to move into this company.

Dearie had to give me numerous counselling sessions to get me to think rationally.

Finally I found a breakthrough today. Somehow things fell into place and I am really blessed in how people around me form an important support group in my life.

So the sequence goes:

Early this week I started to think I should not waste my time here. I was resigned to the fact that I will need to stay here for at least 2 years but I did not want to just let time pass. I started to toy with the idea of studying. Maybe go for CFA. And so I asked around and checked online.

An ex classmate who has been in the banking sector all her career told me CFA is similar to MAF; not necessary. I checked online and realized to obtain CFA I will need 4 years of relevant experience. And for what constitutes relevant experience, I think at this point in time, I have gathered zero relevant CFA experience.

Dearie told me even if I don’t do the CFA, I can still do self-study and learn on my own. But of course, I will need to exercise self discipline.

After staff comm yesterday, I felt so small in the organization, I thought I should quit. Leave this 1 month off my resume and find a new job. At this juncture, dearie and John advised I should stay on and not just give up after 1 month. I actually felt it was more like a no-choice thing. Since I made the decision and given my not-so-impressive track record, I must stay.

I think God gave me an opportunity to strike a conversation with a fellow executive on the way out to lunch today. Apart from blessing me with John as lunch kaki (and free drink which he treated me), I had the chance to start talking to this particular colleague.

After I returned from lunch, I walked over to his seat to talk. We then went on to share our previous working background and our journey with this company so far. There are many similarities between both of us:

1. Both of us are pretty new in the company. He has been here 6 months. This is my 1st month here.

2. We are of similar age. In fact, another fairly new exec is also around the early 30s. So it’s a trend we are seeing here.

3. We were both from SME background.
4. We held accountant positions before this and both were bsbh accountants.
5. Our ex (for me is ex-ex) companies was in Tuas area
6. We stay in Yew Tee

I shared with him my uneasiness on KPIs, work and portfolio. He explained his learning experience and what he observed things worked here. My heart felt so relieved upon hearing his experience. I thought I was the only person feeling useless and alienated. I was not alone. He told me to persevere and hold on too.

I am grateful to have family and friends who form a support group to me and they are the people who give me different perspectives to things. Even ex-colleagues showered concern on how I am getting on. I am in constant contact with ex and ex-ex colleagues. They are friends; more than merely colleagues. I treasure these relationships I build in the last jobs I’ve held. I believe we go to work not merely just to complete tasks set out for us, organizations is made up of people. In every job, we learn to work with people. I am blessed with good colleagues (though there are always some buggers in every workplace) whom I can work well with. Some of them I can even share personal things with. =)

Somehow the road ahead looks more lighted up now. Travelling on is only possible because I know I will always have some hands to hold upon should I stumble.

not-so-happy new year (yet)

2011-02-01T09:58:00.001+08:00

Rain is falling. Markets tumbling. Egypt in protest. Cyclone hitting Australia. The world is in somewhat a disaster mode. What a way to start the lunar new year.

We were looking forward to the break over cny but now we aren’t even sure if we can travel back. Many towns in Malaysia are ravaged in floods. We need a hovercraft!

I do hope things will work out and turn out good.

Things at work are somewhat still crawling. Maybe it’ll get better after cny. i do hope there’ll be more than just the shreds and bits I am seeing now. My scope still seems like a big fuzzy image which I still can’t make out. With quite a bit of time at hand, my mind started to wander again. Feeling like Malcolm in the middle, I thought of what it takes to inch forward. Because of the tardy progress in these 2.5 weeks, I am somewhat discouraged.

I found a job description on the server for my position. From it, I thought I actually made 1 step back from where I was previously. I was reminded of what Jamie told me; about finding jobs that bring me forward than backward. Think of a rubix cube. I should be solving the puzzle and getting the colours right more each day. I should not be messing things up more and relearning and creating more havoc. At this 2.5 weeks mark I feel I am creating more mess than good. =(

I accepted this position because I felt I was new in this industry and I should give myself time to perform and move up. But the uncertainty gnaws on me now. It is that impatience bug feeding on my confidence again.

How long do I need to make things work? What if I am here 3 years and still stuck in the executive position? I thought about possibly promoting to senior accountant if i have stayed on in my last company.

What can I do to accelerate my progress? I feel I cannot just sit here and wait for experience to accumulate. There must be more I can do!

Am I starting to regret my decision to move? A little. Is this a good choice? I am not absolutely sure for now. Can I hold on for 3 years? I will try my best to. Will I perform well enough to deserve confirmation? I need a better idea of the KPIs because I don’t see them clearly for now. I will have to draft the KPIs and clarify with my boss once I am sure of my full scope of work.

For now, all I am hoping is to head back to Malaysia asap. Because only by doing so, I can get my mind off work and the company.

no options

2011-01-26T13:12:00.005+08:00

i hate the weather; it is making me miss all my runs. argh.

missed yesterday's run. missed this morning's run. so the plan is to run tonight. sleep early and pack another run tomorrow morning perhaps?

haven't got to do my jian shen cao too. but at least this week i am waking and leaving for work earlier. i still need to inch in by another 10mins more on non-running days. my discipline to wake up for runs is still prone to waver. i seem pretty 'deaf' to my run alarms. so, the remedy is to set another morning run alarm 15mins after the first. that leaves me with no excuse to be deaf!

progress at work is still slow. bored much of the time. one manager said they are giving me time to warm up. but i don't want to become a bench warmer =(

i conjured ideas of some noon workouts. i can't do my jian shen cao at my desk though. what choices do i have? we don't have shower facilities either. unless i join a gym. but i don't want to pay for one. so that leaves me with no options except to run in the morning or evening.

then i had ideas of home cooked packed lunch. but what can i cook? something i can cook overnight and just tapao to work? can't think of anything at this point. again, no options.

i managed to play the piano last night but i sounded dreadful. i should (how do i make this a must?) practise more.

there must be something i can do about these! someone help me think of something!

first week review

2011-01-25T08:30:00.001+08:00

I was intending to do a first week review on the new job but wondered if it’s a little too early to be reviewing anything. And so I penned words while feeling lost during the first few days of the first week. I shall not publish them as they do seem really immatured.

The advice is I need to give myself more time. It reminded me of the similar helpless feeling during last year. Many things were new then too. Only this time around, it a lot different in terms of organization size, hierarchy, systems and scope.

And so, I am still adjusting. It was heartening during orientation this morning to find another newbie who is as lost as I am. The lady sitting next to me has begun work here 3 weeks ago and comes from a sme background too. we can relate to the ‘waa’ feeling in terms of the way things are done in a sme compared to a big organization.

No matter what, my goal is a minimum 3 years here. I keep repeating this to myself. Even if it’s going to be hard, I must hang on. It’s like the Subaru challenge. If I know I am going to win the car by holding my hand there and not move, I will do so till I pass out. For this case, my career is at stake; something worth more than a Subaru car definitely. I want to make this right and I want my career to be railed on track. For so long I have been moving, wanting to chug up higher onto the mountains. This might just be the break. I am holding on to it. 3 years AT LEAST!

I came up with this little schedule which I printed and pasted into my notebook. It’s a schedule of how I want to work my weeks. I am pretty glad with myself as I managed to wake up around 540am and head out for a run and did a brief core workout. The aim is to clock at least 40-50km a week. If I even can do it, squeeze in a biking session on Sunday early morning.

Apart from this, I allocated time for housework, part time work, meal with mummy and rest & relax time with dearie. =) I hope this helps to organize my life a little better.

Update: I overslept on the run this morning. Argh. I must do better!

small shrimp big sea

2011-01-19T12:22:00.001+08:00

3 days into the job. I feel like a little shrimp swimming in a vast ocean. I used to boss around the little aquarium; now I can’t even see the end of the great ‘pool’. I’ve been ploughing through 2 files of treasury information and attempting to make sense of it. The sequence of matters seems somewhat jumbled up as I try to piece the bits together.

There is quite a bit of commotion happening elsewhere and I can’t be of much help. Sigh.

I have been lacking discipline for my morning runs. Trotting around in stilettos is taking its toil on me. Am I trying too hard to fit? Maybe I just lack the poise? I count 4 blisters and 1 bled today. The sight of bleeding made me wonder if I am fitting the right shoes.

I need to get some discipline instilled in myself. First I need to get my runs back again. i cannot make much plans for a marathon but the least I can do it to get more mileage. Clocking 40km weeks are getting harder. Maybe I am lazy. My aim is to maintain my 50km weeks. Now with this new job, evening runs will be difficult. I need to be as disciplined as the Chinese lady who never fails her daily park connector morning runs. i need to sleep earlier. I need to wake up on time.

Then I need to get myself out of house earlier. Aim is to leave home by 7am so I can reach office by 8am. This will give me time to do some reading and have breakfast. Currently I am still 15-20mins behind target. My life has to be pushed forward. Wake up earlier for run. Leave home earlier for office.

I have not much time for piano these days. So it’s good I didn’t rush into buying a grand some months back. I am trying to keep up with reading at least. Reading in the office. Reading on the way to office. Reading on the way home.

I am still getting used to the changes the new job brings. Changing habits is really tough. Sometimes I walk in feel I’m getting out of control. why am I not running as much as I want to? Why do I not have a plan on training these days? Why can’t I play the piano more? Why do I get home feeling so tired that I have not much strength for much? Why am I not cooking more dinners for dearie? I need to find a balance in it all. It is coming to terms with changes and adapting myself to them.

A A A all the way

2011-01-17T21:51:00.002+08:00

Another 2 As in the bag! not me! hoho. it's dearie. he has a roll call of 6 As for his masters now. 1 more dissertation and 2 more modules. The finishing line is soooooooooo close now! all the way dearie!

I felt like a small country mouse in the big city. I like the intranet of the company. i like the detailed documentation of the accounts. There are many in-house systems used to capture different information, interfacing from one system to another. It was like waaa.. for us, it has always been excel spreadsheet based. i guess only big companies can afford to have their systems customized. There are many more things i was wow-ing over the entire day, which i shall not say here..else you might find me really like a toad in the well.

Another piece of good news for me. i was told i am given a pay raise for the part time job i am holding. 3 months into the job and i am getting a 12.5% increase in hourly rate. the work i do is really simple - collecting fees, updating collection list, updating contact list, do some cleaning, call students up to remind them of class change.. doesn't need alot of brain power. no politics. nice people. nice boss. i think that is why although i sometimes hate missing runs for work.. i am still holding on. i am intending to hold on to this for a while..because my boss is appreciating my work by giving me a raise =) my work is appreciated; it means alot alot to me. she doesn't need to wait for me to start hinting i want to quit, before she does something.

so, it's a good day. dearie with his AAAAAA. me with a pay raise and new job. that's nice for a start.hoho!

fighter watches the fighter

2011-01-16T21:51:00.002+08:00

dearie and i caught this movie at jurong point gv today. the fighter watches the fighter.

the film is more than just fighting. i thought the cast brought life into the roles they played. scores a 9 for me.

turning early tonight for tomorrow's new change.

all done

2011-01-15T09:37:00.002+08:00

i left the office at 7pm feeling happy with myself. i have completed what i set out to do before my last day. i sometimes think if i have made a hasty move; indeed 1 year here is somewhat short. i had not intended the job search to be an accelerated one. it was more like a see-look-survey intended exercise, but the position at my dream company opened and i was given a chance to take another step forward.

close to the end of the year i thought i have accustomed myself to the crisis mode of things. did i over-react? or perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.

i start a new chapter on monday. it feels like life in reset; it happened a year ago didn't it? building relationships over again. remembering names. remember which turn to make to my seat. remembering how to troubleshoot the printer if it fails to work.

i wore a big smile yesterday, knowing i have completed all the 2010 required reports. to me it adds the full-stop to the end of the sentence and i am glad i got to do it myself. this week was really hectic, having to work late for 4 out of 5 days. dearie has been my guardian angel - sending me dinner and picking me home. a big thank u to him! =)

he commented yesterday, "i don't want to spoil you ah.. next time it's harder to pick u up liao." =) no problem. next time working late will probably become norm. it's in town and mummy's around the corner. hoho!

we lose some we gain some. we let go to embrace the new.

look through the windscreen to the future. look back the rear mirror sometimes to reflect what we've learnt.

my new grand to say goodbye

2011-01-12T20:43:00.004+08:00

my colleagues - amy and sew kin, got me this as farewell gift. they have been hearing so much of my grand dream that they have decided to fulfill it for me =)

gold keys wowowow!

it comes with lights that i can switch on. the crystals disperse the kaleidoscope of lights. in purple.

in blue

in red

and in green!

thank you so much. i love this grand. and i will really miss working with both of you. you have both taught me much and i really enjoyed my year here.

pedas

2011-01-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

we have been enjoying blended chilli and cut up yellow/white chilli similar to that in the photo. all the chilli are planted by ma. directly fresh from her garden.

it is numbing hot. dearie has a special concoction to eat them. white chilli with minced garlic, mixed with ma's rocket brand soy sauce and sesame oil. the result, really good chilli that goes with beehoon, mee and anything else!

it made our dinner so hearty, it made the day a little better. oh, not forgetting the 8km run dearie did with me..during which he listened patiently to my rants for the day and kept reminding me to hang on for the next 8 days.

it will end soon. the old will pass and the new will come. =)

thank you dearie for helping me keep sane. thank you dw and john for listening to my rants this afternoon too. i appreciate it.

last post of the 2010

2010-12-31T22:56:00.003+08:00

2010 has been an interesting year. i remember the same time last year i was getting ready for a brand new job in the brand new year. history is repeating itself so quickly. 2 more weeks to another new job. after this episode, i learnt that job stability is important. finding a stable company and not having to worry if we will have sufficient cash for payroll.

and so. next company i'll be joining is definitely stable. but of course i am psyching myself up for a challenging time; given the kind of business and organisation.

another year done for dearie's studies. with just another half year ahead, the finishing line is visible now. persevere on dearie! all the hard work will be worth it.

i try to make it a point to see mummy once a week. i feel bad our korea holiday plan will have to be put on hold for a while.. i promise i will realise it once i settle into the new job. =)

with the kindle dearie bought me, i have been able to read more. this has always been something i want to do more and the kindle has helped me achieve that. i also make it a point to read news twice a day - once in the morning, once during lunch time. it helps us understand market movements a little better.

we traded 8 months of equities and have pretty ok realised returns. we have bought in some close year end. let's hope for a rally next year!

training has taken a back seat in our lives this year. while we still do run to stay fit and keep fats away, we no longer train intensively. i still want to make it a point to continue to run as it helps me clear my mind.

i took up exercises recommended by pa and ma. although i have not seen any significant weight loss like pa, but i do find my arms toned up now. it has helped me upkeep my tummy flatness to some extent, although i've been skiving on my core exercises. so my verdict? it works!!

i have done fairly well in terms of my savings this year. i have budgeted forward for next year and hope to save more!

and so my resolutions for the coming year:

1. work hard in my new job
2. save more
3. continue to run and stay fit
4. continue to do 强身操daily
5. bring mummy on a holiday by 2nd half next year
6. keep up with my reading
7. play the piano more?

happy new year everyone!

30/12 minigoals update

2010-12-30T13:56:00.003+08:00

1. summarise 2010 expenditure - DONE. gathered interesting insight into my spending. did the pie chart and it all looks clear and colourful.

2. budget 2011 - DONE. expecting to earn a bit more. expecting to spend proportionately more due to higher transportation and food expenses.

3. clear emails - Gmail is down to less than 50 recent emails. yahoo hovers around 240 emails. not much more which i can delete. most of them i am retaining for memory's sake. i'm a good housekeeper.

4. summary list - DONE. not much status update till now. will have to send this out on Mon, let's hope i can close more outstanding issues on my list.

5. plan rest of week - i have more or less listed the things i want to do over fri to sun. wonder what time will i get to leave work tomorrow. hmm!

6. go through accounts - might have to kiv till tomorrow as i need to check the gp report.

7. go home at 6pm - ought to be able to go home at 6pm. dinner for tonight is something light. chicken and egg mayo sandwiches. dessert is passionfruit yogurt. yum yum.

minigoals 30/12

2010-12-30T09:21:00.002+08:00

setting some mini goals for today

1. as the year draws to an end very soon, i want to tidy my year's expenditure and tabulate them by categories. i found this good read http://www.investmentmoats.com/budgeting/how-to-budget-with-envelope-budgeting-to-save-money-easily/ in the morning and i want to explore this further. categorising expenses into different envelopes sounds like a great idea. i have the past 1.5years expenses as basis to start from. so long winded. minigoal 1 is to categorise 2010 expenses by type. calculate my annual savings and expenditure.

2. budget for 2011. with 2010 historical i want to forecast the year ahead. i never had a very concrete budget to work with and i think 2011 should be the time to start being more disciplined.

3. housekeeping personal emails. i have cleared up my emails at work. time to sort out personal ones so i start the new year with my bins emptied.

4. update my weekly summary list so that it is ready to be sent out tomorrow. i am taking dw's suggestion to send a summary of updates to my bosses, so they are informed of the status of the various outstanding issues under my care. the point to make is to let them know delays are not caused by my tardiness.

5. plan for tomorrow and weekend. what to do. where to go. what to cook. it is interesting to observe the change in myself. i used to be a person who did not like to be bounded by plans and timetables. in contrast, now i actually like to plan ahead. planning makes me define where i want to get to and how i want to get there. this ought to be a change for the better.

6. look into the dec accounts and ensure we have all the provisions, accruals etc made.

7. finish my work promptly at 6pm. get home. cook dinner. go for my run.

kl foodie galore

2010-12-29T21:47:00.004+08:00

we are at the famous fatty crab!

fatty crab's crabs!

fatty crab's good friend - fried rice

these are great starters - fried chicken wings

foodcourt delights are not bad too. this is lam mee

dearie says this is michelle yeoh endorsed lou si fan

dearie had this microwaved terriyaki burger.

crossing the river

2010-12-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

I’ve done the interim handover yesterday. Following that, I sent out to my boss (cc the person taking over) the handover list which we discussed on and a list of items I will be targeting to do in the next 2 weeks. I am trying my best to do a good handover. But it takes 2 hands to clap; the incoming person will have to do her part to learn up whatever necessary.

Sent an email to hr to verify my understanding of the repercussions from early release. I hope she understands I want a reply in writing, not phonecall.

My boss said I have to tie up all the loose ends. The matter of fact is, not everything can be completed because it involves external parties whom may not respond at your will. Despite sending numerous emails to follow up, I am just not getting any response. Perhaps it’s the year end when many go on leave. I hope my boss will be understanding enough that I have already tried my best to follow up, but if I am not able to obtain response, she shouldn’t use that as the reason to deny my leave.

We step into the new year on Sat. It is hard to be celebrating because I am still crossing the river to the opposite bank now. Will there be currents which will make the crossing difficult? I don’t know. I only know my goal is the reach the opposite bank and I will do anything to get there.

old and new

2010-12-28T10:20:00.002+08:00

i am counting down to the last 17 calendar days at this company. cleared 4000 emails from both inbox and sent folder. now i'm left with less than 50 recent emails.

did housekeeping with the files. my in tray looks fairly empty.

compiling the handover list. it's about 3 pages now.

i have plan A and B for the early release. the final straw is to flash mr m.

i hope i can leave on a good note. i hope she doesn't make things difficult for me.

new year. new things to look forward to.

christmas shopping

2010-12-27T08:32:00.008+08:00

christmas weekend has been a blast! dearie and i were up in kl with pa and ma. lots of shopping and eating. hohoho!

will post up photos in a jiffy. in the meantime, i grabbed some graphics off the internet to sum off the highlights of the weekend.

i finally got to try the famous fatty crab!

we stayed at pa's service apartment (fairlane residence), which was just next to lot 10.

dearie bought me my first ever clothes from zara. 1 skirt, 1 pair of pants and a top. i have roamed into zara outlets in singapore countless times but i have never bought a single thing (obviously it's the cost i was concerned with). now i know why so many ladies adore zara..because they do make pretty clothes.

we went into raoul at pavillion too. dearie and i said one day we will dress in raoul! pa looked at a jacket, flipped the price tag and was appalled to find it priced at "RM1,199"!

will share more photos in my next entries. yawn. time to start work now!

baskets full of it

2010-12-15T21:13:00.002+08:00

to some it may be measly but it is enough to make me feel good! received my 1 month bonus today! yay! i don't think i want to make myself miserable to compare with peers who may be receiving 3-6 months bonus. i think for my ailing company to payout bonus itself is a miracle. for my boss to actually pay me bonus when i have tendered ahead of 31 dec, is something i am thankful for.

wanted to treat dearie to a good meal tonight and he suggested economy rice. i ended cooking a simple plate of noodles for him.

the plan is to spend a small proportion of it and save the rest. get some new things to pamper ourselves with. and yes, a nice meal with ma and pa when we meet for christmas! it's on me! =D

it's always nice to have a little more to go around.

bend in the road

2010-12-14T10:25:00.002+08:00

just when i was feeling despondent, i received a call that i will be getting an exception. wow. i'm thankful that my hard work is appreciated by my bosses.

feels like a bend in the road. so apt. i am reading that nicholas spark novel right now!

finish it up & go

2010-12-14T09:19:00.002+08:00

i tried not to expect but i still feel disappointed. i do not think they will be kind enough, hence i don't have to be kind either. that is the reality, isn't it?

it is just another 23 working days. it cannot be that bad.

going the extra mile doesn't seem too worth it any more. i just have to complete the distance and then say goodbye.

the next lap on i am going to do it well. i must make the most of it and justify to myself that this is the best choice i have made for my career. it is a do or die thing now. no more looking back. it's forward, forward and forward!!!!!!

dreams into reality

2010-12-13T22:23:00.003+08:00

i have neglected my ivories for a while and starting tinkling them again yesterday. whenever i start playing, i would wish i had a new piano. i wish so much i even dreamed of visiting a cousin who owned a warehouse full of grands, uprights and digital pianos! we were running around the huge warehouse looking for the steinway grand.

i have had several dreams about visiting piano showrooms. i would either find myself running in one or walking around one.

in the last dream, i played a jazz piece on a yamaha. but i really wanted to try the steinway.

i think i don't play well enough to deserve a grand but i wish i had one. i don't have that much to afford one as much as i would like to. it's like a luxury item, which i can only look in envy outside the window showcase. how nice if i had the space to house one. how nice if i played well enough to deserve one. how nice if i have the spare cash to afford one. how nice if we all appreciate the piano as an investment not a white elephant.

feels like a distant dream again.

at least some other dreams are slowly coming into better reach. from the windowless seat i dreamed of having a seat with window. achieved.

i made a pact with a peer that one day we will meet in shenton way and chop our seats with tissue paper. achieving real soon.

i dreamed i would one day hand out my namecard with pride. give me another 3-5years. i will get there.

maybe the grand might be easily be within reach then. but perhaps i would no longer desire one then?

i am working to hand over my work in another 1 month's time. listing them all down. sorting them out. trying to finish whatever i can.

at least some things are getting more real now.

sambal & pattaya

2010-12-09T21:41:00.002+08:00

today beehoon sambal scored 9/10! dearie cooked the sambal (can u believe it?! haha)

pattaya yesterday didn't turn out too well. only got a 7 i think. the rice was a little uncooked as i was trying to get it cooked in quick cook mode under 30mins. egg looks dark because i used soy sauce instead of salt. i think my standard fried rice tastes better.

domesticated

2010-12-08T13:19:00.002+08:00

dearie likes noodles dishes so i scored 8.5/10 for my stir-fried udon yesterday night! i only remembered that i should have taken photos of it after we wiped out everything. =P

will be attempting to cook nasi goreng pattaya tonight. not too sure if i will be able to get a fried egg big and thin enough because i don't have a pan at home. it might be a little tricky with a wok. but i will try anyway..and remember to take some photos to post.

i managed to accomplish tasks on my to-do list last night. mostly domestic chores: clearing my waredrobe, cleaning the fan and ironing clothes. so that brings me to the advantage of morning runs. i have more time in the evening to cook a meal, do my chores and get to bed by 10.30pm.

it seems like things at home are breaking down at the same time. first our dining table gave way. then our phone too. the chairs in our study room look like they may want to give way anytime as well. we have been wanting to get a replacement battery for the olympus camera for a long time..but never got around buying one. thankfully, my mum blessed us with a canon camera. but of course, we will still need to purchase a charger for it. spending is like a plague. once it strikes, it can be pretty hard to shake it off. ok, it's the scroogey side me blogging here again.

ohohhh..my reports are almost fully in. time to start reporting soon. i do want to go back at 6pm this evening. that's something to work towards for me!

what is good

2010-12-07T08:53:00.002+08:00

i am starting to reorganise my life to welcome a new career in jan'11.

running in the morning is good. if i do have to work overtime, i'm not worried about not getting my exercise. the only tough part is getting out of bed at 5.30am. which brings me to the next good thing.

sleep at 10.30 pm is good. it gives me a decent 7hour sleep before i go out for my morning runs.

not buying a grand piano is good. it saves me the guilt of splurging 11k on a grand and not having time to play it once i start a new job.

simple exercises in the office is good. though i am not too sure if i can continue to do so in the new office. i may not have the luxury of my own cornered and partitioned seat in the new office.

having dinner at home is good. it is a pity i may not have as much chance to cook coming jan'11. i will certainly be expecting alot more overtime than now.

spring cleaning our place periodically is good. we may not have to do it only close new year. clearing away junk frequently helps unclutter the place. i am hoping to pack my waredrobe this week.

starting on work early is good. i am looking to knock off on time!

sweet sour pork

2010-12-06T21:19:00.003+08:00

today's istimewa: sweet sour pork with rice

dearie rated it 0.8/1. a few things i can do better next time: marinate the pork for a longer time. add more flour into the batter. fried the pork longer so it's crispier. maybe add some pineapple too!

tomorrow's dish: stir-fried udon =D

tresses

2010-12-06T17:29:00.004+08:00

i am dying for a haircut! i feel like a doggy again.

i never found a stylist good enough to stick with for long. perhaps it's because i'm such a scrooge so i am always hoping to find cheap and good haircuts. apparently, good haircuts don't often come cheap. when i was younger, i used to splurge on hair colouring and cuts at reds. these days, one neighbourhood salon hair cut can last me half a year.

the recommended stylists i am reading off forums charge about $40-60/haircut. why am i finding it so hard to part with that amount to get a decent haircut?

getting a haircut this month is an big no no. no budget no haircut. i will have to carry my doggy hairstyle around for another 3.5weeks! argh. how about a complimentary haircut for christmas present? =D

made up with money

2010-12-06T09:20:00.004+08:00

before the day gets too busy..i thought i should blog my thoughts.

the kindle has made my life more interesting as i can read in all pockets of free time. currently reading memoirs of a geisha. googled on that and found another book which i can proceed next to: geisha of gion. written by a real geisha!

there'll be no safra runs this week and since dearie's classes had officially ended for this semester, we'll be running around the park connector. i've got quite a few new dishes i want to try out..dinner this week will be interesting. will post up photos if possible.

there are many reports to fulfill at work. i think the toughest is trying to make out those system generated ones, which i have little idea how can i possible reconcile the figures back to GL.

dearie's skin is visibly much better today. the pores have somewhat shrunk. i think this is more miraculous than miracle water! hoping to see more improved skin in months to come.

i spent quite abit of yesterday's evening watching 女人我最大 over youtube yesterday. i find watching beauty tips entertaining, though i have little idea how i can put them into practise. so for a start, i have put on some make up this morning. to dress and make up well helps boost confidence. these are definitely areas i have alot of room to improve on. as i move into a job located in the cbd, i must start to dress and present myself better. i think it reflects good of my company too. time to save up more so that i can buy myself more decent working clothes. i do have quite a couple of working shirts which cutting makes me look more auntish than modern. ought to get rid of them and get more professional looking ones.

i need a haircut badly too, but i am hesitant on where to go. good salons charge a lot for a simple hair cut, but of course you worry lesser as the stylist snips your tresses off. neighbourhood ones? you get some misses sometimes. i intended to get a haircut during our holiday in korea..but as the korea trip is kiv-ed along with my new job.. i am a little cornered to where i can possibly get an affordable and decent haircut. probably delay it till jan'11 since i busted my budget big time this month.

the buy list seems long. to look good does come with a price to pay. or maybe should i just remain status quo?

new table & dinner

2010-12-05T22:33:00.003+08:00

our new table! we think this looks better than the previous one.

tapioca cake for dinner..

i baked them instead of frying. turned out very crispy and not too sweet.

abandon the wrecked

2010-12-05T17:01:00.002+08:00

haven't had time to blog alot of things happening.

and so i decided to abandon the leaking ship. the unpaid leave portion is still fuzzy for now but i will rather channel my energy to handover than worry.

what will be nice for a farewell gift? maybe a mug with lid.

i have been told that my skin is dry but i could never bear to spend more on the basic skin care. yesterday i splurged on serum for dearie and i. my skin never felt so pampered before. we do deserve to treat our faces better!

december is the month of spending. just renewing acca membership is close to $400. icpas membership should be due for renewal soon. plus the addition to skincare. i am feeling alot poorer! =( with the christmas week off, that means lesser earnings from part time too. not forgetting the bonus which i forsook when i hopped off the ship. our dining table gave way and we just bought an ikea one yesterday. another small hole burnt. oh dear, anyone has free lance job for me to take up? the goal for the rest of the month is to minimise spending. eat at home as much as possible. tapao lunch. no shopping except kl weekend.

just made dragonfruit enzyme. bought this huge air tight container from ikea..so i can mass produce my enzyme. =D

i am trying not to think of work as i spend the last bits of my weekend. there is alot awaiting to be done. i want to clear all that i need to. prepare way ahead for audit. i want to do the handover well, so my boss has no reason not to allow me to go on unpaid leave.

christmas is coming soon. haven't got chance to travel back to malaysia in a while. i am so looking for the weekend in kl (albeit the crazy traffic). pa says we will have turkey. i am treating! because i found a new job.

next year will be exciting. time and tide wait for no man. i can opt an easy life or go for a challenging one. i think the latter will definitely be more rewarding.

goodbye blings

2010-11-30T07:38:00.003+08:00

another pair of shoes bid goodbye. my bling blings. pretty shoes don't last me very long these days. i was joking that i should be wearing safety boots to work instead. they should last me alot longer.

i will be attending my last interview for the season, today. i want to halt for a while after this.

my boss has been trying her best to make things better for me. it's making the decision to leave very hard. i sigh as i thought of how tendering a resignation might be. =( she was the one who believed in me, gave me a chance..when tpl didn't.

attended my cousin's wedding on sunday..and i reflected how little i kept in touch with my cousins, although we ought to be kin. then i thought about my own brother, whose life i know so little of. we hardly talk these days; the little of what i know of him was heard from my mummy.

despite of that, i'm glad i've got my in-laws whom i can seek advice from. they feel more like brother and father to me than my own.

woww..seoul marathon is open for registration. 20 mar 2011. will i get to go?

the thing about future is its uncertainty. we always want to find the constants..but realise actually most are variables.

50% now closed

2010-11-25T21:05:00.003+08:00

i sat watching this view for almost an hour before i went for my worse interview for this 'season'. i was stumped by the questions fired. i felt i have presented myself badly. she was very direct.

it made me feel sore i have always been from a sme environment. i know i will never be one of those trotting down shenton. so what if i've not been in a huge corporate organisation?

i share this same kind of regret like i've never been part of a large tertiary institution. whenever i drive to ntu to pick dearie, i will feel sore i've never studied in a campus of this size and stature. dearie is like fulfilling my dream right now. =)

i walked out of the interview heaving a huge sigh and feeling defeated. but like i said in the interview, at least i tried. i am really very far from the mark now, but it doesn't mean i will not one day make the mark.

everyone will find their fit somewhere, somehow. i believe i have options and dearie assured me of that too. even if i don't, i still have a job. so i can afford to miss my game this season.

it rained when i walked out, like how i felt. but that's fine. rain brings life. when rain stops i can run again.

so there goes my 50% opened door. probably now shut right in my face.

yin ying has been very nice as we spoke over the phone after the interview. she did mention that she gathered positive feedback from the interview, which i am skeptical of, because she asked a hr lady who was not present. she should ask the hr lady who was there. but anyway, i told her it was a good experience and thanked their effort to help arrange for it.

i got home feeling very tired. my feet felt sore just like my heart felt. the search feels abit too long for me to keep up with. i may just take a break after next tuesday's interview. just stay on for my contractual bonus and see where the tide brings me to for the next few months. sometimes, fighting against it can be very tiring.

doors

2010-11-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

i passed the test..which i didn't know what i was doing. i worked on it till 1 am last night, but i couldn't make out how i was going to present actual vs forecast utilisation rate. i had an extra info of daily rental rates, which felt like an odd piece in the puzzle. i plotted the charts, but i had no comments to make. i didn't know much of the business to explain the gap between actual vs forecast.

i sent in and wrote in the email, "This test left me thinking I'm really a long way from taking up a FA role. Nevertheless, thank you for helping me obtain the opportunity to at least try."

and then in the afternoon, i received a call that i passed. the first question i asked was, "are you sure?"

this might be a chance to reach my fa dream. i applied numerous fa positions but never got even an interview for them. i know i lacked the experience and most of the time, they won't even give you the chance to try.

so in front of me is this fa door. will i get to step through? i can only find out next week.

meantime, i am drawn to the position i interviewed for today. interesting industry. scope sounds good. hiring manager's style is wow. but i guess location is a tad wulu. how good a chance i stand? i can't tell from the hiring manager's indifferent look.

so i can almost conclude i have 3 doors. 1 of it is 50% open. today's position is 25% open. and fa position is not opened as yet, but i can see the door in front of me.

i cannot decide. follow my heart, dearie said. but my heart is somewhat torn. there is no perfect job. we have some, we don't have some.

perhaps i ought to see how far the doors can open for me. if i have them all open, then i can start considering which to step through.

challenge

2010-11-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

pass an excel analysis test to gain chance for interview? this is a first.

challenging question i must say.

if i fail can i know what my score is?

feels like an exam. i have only tonight to complete it.

dearie's nagging me to start on it soon.

bitten from rest

2010-11-22T05:22:00.002+08:00

i was awaken by bug bites (not mozzies because dearie said he didn't hear the buzzing sound).

5 bites on my back and i tried to cover myself with the blanket, leaving only my face exposed.

then i was bitten on my forehead. damn.

since i am awake, i might as well use the time to do some reading on the companies i'll be interviewing at.

getting there. it's back to tuas on tues. business nature. job description. listed company? financials. latest announcements. analysts' reports on business outlook.

i hope i get a good offer soon, as sometimes preparing and going through interviews can be time consuming, mentally draining and repetitive.

may a good offer come along soon. perhaps i can start the new year well. or i might stay?

it should be nice to go for a run now though it will be frowned at. sometimes running is not just for the mere sake of staying in shape. i run because i like the feeling of my heart pumping the blood through my body. =)

it's going to be a busy week of shuttling from place to place. why can't we have another mid week public holiday? that'll be really nice to have!

settling growing

2010-11-20T10:24:00.002+08:00

despite the hectic week, i'm glad i got the required reports out. the auditors are in for interim and because it's a brand new team, so there was much reconciliation to be done. the audit manager made quite a bit of last minute changes, which i reckon might not have been properly documented within their working papers. there was some discussion going on about impairment issues. it's not a straight foward issue to address.

the many things happening in the company have gradually settled in. afterall, there isn't much we can do about it.

job search has been somewhat promising. i have some options open. still keeping a lookout before deciding on a move.

15km runs feel like uphill tasks these days. i think i've lost much speed and endurance. though painful, i strangely look forward to long runs.

another 20mins before i leave for work. every single day i am working. the question of 'is it worth the effort' sometimes does pop into mind. for now i think i should be working hard. if i can utilise my time to earn a little more, i think i should do it. =) sedikit sedikit,lama lama, jadi bukit!

irksome mlm

2010-11-17T21:56:00.005+08:00

one of the things i don't like is mlm schemes. don't ever talk me into one because i know how to calculate yields, expected returns and risk. i will rather sink my money into some penny stocks than put them into such schemes.

i just had a traumatized evening with an ex-colleague. she is a ex-colleague whose company i have enjoyed through the kk trip some years ago. i was not expecting her to bring me to some 'seminar' of some mlm scheme. i got suspicious over dinner, only to have my fears confirmed as she ushered me into a cramped room, where i was suppose to listen to some 'sharing'.

i wanted to walk out of it immediately, but i felt bad doing so. she tried to tell me some stuff related to it, but i wasn't listening much.

i quickly sent dearie an sms, "damn it's mlm. how am i going to get myself out of it?"

in the end, with dearie's help, i lied my way out before the 'sharing' started.

if she was to approach me again, i will be direct and upfront with her. i will politely decline her, stating that i will never be interested in such schemes, so let's not waste hers and my time.

i hate the way they try to put it across. they are not selling products. they are helping others achieve something in their lives. they questioned whether i was unhappy about my life and what i was doing for a living.

i replied, "actually, i'm happy doing what i do. at least i know i am getting somewhere."

well, i rather you tried to sell me a product, than to tell me you can help me achieve my dream. i don't think anyone has a perfect formula to success. i don't think achieving dreams happens over night..or by getting more people join the bandwagon of some organisation.

i know what i want for my career. definitely not trying to recruit people to join some 'achieve-your-dream' scam.

perhaps there are people who found their calling in mlm, but not me.

from the ministry of trade and industry website, i extracted the following information of mlm.

1. What is Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) and Pyramid Selling?

A Multi-Level Marketing or Pyramid Selling scheme will typically require participants to pay an upfront charge. In return, the participants are promised financial rewards for each additional participant recruited, as well as all new participants who are in turn brought in by their recruits - hence the pyramid-like structure.

As more salespersons are recruited, participants hope to recover their upfront charges and earn sizeable profits. However, such a pyramid schemes will eventually collapse when they run out of new recruits, resulting in those salespersons at the bottom of the pyramid losing all their upfront charges.

In the interest of consumer protection, the Government's regulation effort is targeted at preventing the proliferation of such high-risk schemes.

2. How do I recognise a pyramid selling scheme?

Many pyramid schemes often disguise themselves as sellers collectors' items, software, training programmes, etc, when all they are interested is to make a quick buck through recruitment. Members of the public who attend sales talks must be vigilant to such schemes. Illegitimate MLM schemes usually share the following characteristics:

When the promoter hype about how easy it is to earn money, people can get very rich in a very short time and that the way to earn money is by recruiting others to join the scheme;
The so-called product that you are supposed to sell is not something you would normally buy at its price;
Participants are required to invest money into the scheme, whether in the form of a joining fee, or buying inventory.

Remember - there is no easy money, you must believe in what you are selling and you should not put your money at unnecessary risk.

relating to the extract, i agree that all these mlm organisations like to 'rara' their people. use some catchy taglines, which are more like corny than professional to me. they only share 'success' stories, people who have made it big with the schemes..but in truth, how many others out there have sunk in the money and made nothing much from it? are they going share those unsuccessful stories too? (feels like those funds performance reports. they only report of those performing funds.. and leave out those funds which have ceased to exist..making their annualised returns exceedingly attractive)

anyway, in conclusion, i know this is not for me. i am going to shun it for good. please do not approach me with such get-rich, realise-your-dream things, unless you want me to hang up your calls and ignore your sms-es.

career & i

2010-11-13T22:17:00.004+08:00

i find myself thinking alot about career development these days. going through the first interview set me thinking.

so what exactly am i working towards now?

when i started this job i envisioned myself working up to group level..to managerial position.. so on so forth. as i evaluate my progress from jan till now, i realise the goals are getting more fuzzy. with the current situation of the company, i'll be thankful if i don't get demoted, lest be considered for a promotion.

while my boss tried to assured us that our department will not face the fate of retrenchment; so we won't fall through, does it mean we will only stay status quo? what should we be looking forward to?

this was certainly not what i have envisaged my career to be. i thought this would be an organisation i could grow with. learn and gather relevant experience. be given the opportunities to move up the ranks. but now, all i am hearing is that i won't be affected by the retrenchment.

sigh.

i am still looking out. gather all the possible options.

what am i willing to settle for? what kind of a job can i be offered?

if i do not find something suitable, i can always stay where i am. that's a consolation.

facebook is full of friends going out for races. i am feeling less sore these days. i feel career development is prime in my life now. races are nice to have.. but those are but life's little additions and excitement. it doesn't bring us the income. it doesn't put the food on the table. and i feel i take greater pride in what i can achieve in career than what timing i can do in a marathon.

think about it. when u introduce yourself to a stranger, what will you talk about?

hi, my name is tricia lim. and i am a 4.18 marathoner?

i would take pride in saying this. hi, my name is tricia lim and i am an accountant with xxx (some big company).

not many people can forge identity with marathons..but a good career is respected.

i am telling myself..if i get a better job that needs me to work twice as hard as i am doing now, i will do it. for a better future. for a better pay. for progression. i will do it. i look at those who are successful in life, they too have put in their fair share of hard work. if i want to lead an easy life, then be prepared to stay on the spot.

within reach

2010-11-13T10:31:00.003+08:00

i'm so glad i got my big lazy bum out. climbed stairs for 30-35mins. i came back feeling all awake and refreshed. sat down for another 20min to play the piano.

still working on the 'shining smile' piece. playing it did make my whole being feel better. =)

simple things make me happy. and these simple things are easily within reach.

oh..and i think a bar of chocolate isn't too far out of reach either! yumyum!